


Crash

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Modern AU, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 14:59:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6709612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's an accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS ISNT RELATED TO ANY OF MY OTHER OT4 SERIES

When they were about a year into their relationship, John brought up the subject of the emergency contacts on their phones. None of them had changed theirs for a long time. So, that day, that's what they did.

It was an easy pattern. Hercules was the oldest, not by much but still, so his emergency contact was the second oldest between all of them. As the second oldest, John's contact would be the third oldest, Alex. Alex's would be Lafayette and then it would wrap all the way around so Hercules was Lafayette's emergency contact. It hadn't mattered at the time. It matters now.

It matters because it's why Lafayette gets the call that day.

Let's start at the beginning.

Alex had been up earlier than usual that morning, probably woken up by the cold that all of them have once again. The worst thing about being in a relationship with Alexander, and they all agree, is that he's so susceptible to colds and so capable of spreading them it's sickening. Literally.

He was making soup at five in the morning. Another thing about Alex was that he didn't know what else you're supposed to do when you're sick other than eat soup and try not to die from suffocation in your sleep. So Alex was making soup, stirring two full family-sized cans of it in a far too small saucepan.

John stumbled in with a blanket wrapped over his shoulders and took a bowl from one of their cabinets. He set it down on the countertop next to the stove and made his way over to couch, flipping over the back of it to lie perfectly still. He regretted it immediately. Rattling your head around like that when you're sick isn't ever going to be a wise idea.

"One day you're going to do that but you're not going to stop flipping and you'll crack your head on the coffee table," Alex warned him.

"At least I'll have you to collect me off the floor and take me to the hospital," John mumbled, and it should have been more sarcastic than the way he actually said it but he was Sick and Suffering so he couldn't be bothered. Alex scoffed, still stirring the soup. He poured some of it into John's bowl before he put it back on a burner that wasn't turned on while and got three more bowls and four spoons.

He divvied it up semi-evenly but left half of it in the saucepan for Hercules and Laf. He took his and John's bowls with him to the couch, setting John's down on the coffee table. John didn't move except for lifting his feet up for Alex to sit under them. Alex was used to being sick, so he knew how to function during it. His significant others, however, did not.

"You shouldn't go into work today. You should stay home and take care of me, Hercules, and Laf. We need you," John told him. He dug his blanketed feet into Alexander's thighs to make a point. Alexander laughed and semi-weirdly patted one of John's shins.

"As flattering as that is John, I have to go to work. How will we pay the rent if none of us are working?"

Alexander woke Hercules and Lafayette up right before he left, telling them that there was soup on the stove that was just calling their names before kissing them goodbye and exiting their room. He kissed John and then left the house with his messenger bag slung on his arm.

John ate his soup and went back to bed. Hercules and Lafayette got out of bed, ate their soup, took the shitty cold medicine that Alex always had in their medicine cabinet, and then went back to bed.

Lafayette was awake when they got the call, unable to sleep with the coughing fits. At first they were going to curse their phone alarm, but it was a different song. It had been a call from Alexander's phone. They'd thought it might've been a call checking up on them. They were wrong.

Lafayette shot up out of bed when a voice that wasn't Alex's spoke into the phone. John and Hercules were woken up by the sudden movement, staring at Lafayette through their sleep blurred eyes.

"Yes, I understand. I'll be there as soon as I can," Lafayette says to whoever is on the phone. In a scene that is almost cinematic, Hercules and John watch as Lafayette's phone falls to their lap and one single tear drop falls onto the screen.

Their sick state doesn't seem to deter them when they throw the covers off of them and start rushing around the room trying to get dressed. Hercules and John glance worriedly at each other.

"What happened?" Hercules asks. Lafayette pauses from where they're tying their sneakers.

"It's Alex," is all they say. Hercules and John become almost perfect imitations of Lafayette when they're trying to get dressed.

It's raining when they get to the hospital. How fitting. They tell the lady at the front desk who the three of them are and they direct them to the ICU. Lafayette doesn't ask how they're allowed in.

Lafayette swears that the whole world is falling apart underneath their feet when they all see Alex on his hospital bed. Lafayette can feel the hospital collapsing floor by floor until there's nothing left but the three of them staring at Alex in that fucking hospital bed and the debris around them.

A police officer comes in with a nurse.

"What happened? Who did this?" Lafayette asks the both of them.

"He was hit by a speeding car that was also driving in the wrong lane. The driver was one Aaron Burr, but we haven't been able to find him," The police officer explains. She's breaking it to them slowly, they know it, but they can't seem to care.

"Will he be okay?" John asks.

"I'm afraid his condition is severe. He has a week if we're really pushing it, and even then, he probably won't wake up from the coma. I'm so sorry."  
John trips on his way to the hospital chairs, not trusting his legs to hold him up any longer. Hercules falls onto the chair next to him. Lafayette can't move. They're paralyzed to the spot. This wasn't happening. This can't happen.

The policewoman and the nurse leave, leaving the four of them alone.

"He's gone. We can't save him. I told him he should've stayed home today," John says. He's half out of his chair, wrapping his arms around Hercules. The hard wood of the the chair's arms is digging into his ribs but it doesn't hold a candle to the pain he's feeling emotionally right now.

Lafayette is out of the room, calling all of their friends until every call blurs together. Some of the people don't answer, and Lafayette tells their voicemails, wondering if they thought that this call wasn't important enough to answer.

What could be more important than this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he makes two family sized cans of soup but fuckign,,,,family sized cans of soup are LIARS because I can literally inhale them in one sitting but then there's four adults who are like,,,hmmmm,,,,this is enough,,,,like no,,,but four fam cans of soup doesn't FIT IN A NORMAL SIZED SAUCEPAN so,,,,
> 
> oh and like happy may w/e ;^)))))


	2. Chapter 2

Alexander dies on a Thursday.

The three loves of his life watch helplessly as Alex's heart rate slows down. A team of doctors and nurses barge into his hospital room, trying desperately to save him, but it doesn't help. The flat lining on the monitor screams in their ears. Alex is gone, and not a single person this whole hospital can save him.  
  
They all stay in the hallway for a while. Someone asks if they need anything, but they don't answer. What they need is for their Alex to be alive and here with them, but they don't get everything they want in life.

 

Lafayette was appointed next of kin, still obeying the system they had made. They're made to talk to the people at the hospital about what to do with Alex's body. Hercules and John take that time call all of the friends that Lafayette had called before, telling them what happened.

When they're home, John goes straight to their bedroom. The door closes behind them all, and Hercules lies down on the couch. Lafayette walks over and leans on the counter.  
They stare at the brick wall of the adjacent building from the window above their sink. They don't cry. It feels like there's an absence in their body, like something went missing when Alex died. Alex died. The phrase is repeated in all of their heads over and over again until those two words become the only things in their vocabulary and they don't even remember their own names.

At his funeral, the three of them wear matching suits. Alex would've found it hilarious. He would've found it oddly empowering if he was wearing the same suit along with them. They missed him so much.  
  
All three of them write the eulogy for him, Lafayette being the one who delivers it. They step up to the pulpit and clear their throat. The writing is smudged with tears, but they can almost recite all of it by memory. They hate this.

"Alexander, we will never be as good with words as you were. We will never be able to encapture people using the same twenty-six letters reorganized to create something so beautiful that it makes people feel like they're falling in love. For us, it wasn't just a feeling, but I digress. We will never be writers like you, dear, but because you will never be able to achieve all of the things you wanted to, we will try to immortalize you this way.

When I met Alex, it was raining. He had rushed into my life and once he was there he wrapped around my heart like a vine. He had stared at me like I was an angel, and in that moment, I felt like I really could be, because he saw it in me. He wrote me once about how he loved me, and I tried my best to hold it together. He told me how he had us all, and I thought that nothing can go wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong and I now know that loving three people doesn't make the death of one of them hurt any less.

When John met Alex, it was a Tuesday. John stole in Alexander's affections without his consent and burrowed himself a home in his arms. We all did. John met Alex in a hospital emergency room. John had a concussion, Alex had a nasty cut on his neck. It doesn't matter what they were there for, in reality. It matters that the end always seems to wrap back around to the beginning.

When Hercules met Alex, it was on a clear Saturday night. You might not know this about Alex, but he at his most lively at night. Something in his chest branches out in tandem with the moon, the two of them seeming to live as one being. Hercules met Alex at night and Hercules can tell you that he has never seen a person so much like watching a firework. Because, like Alex, a firework, is bright, loud, and the three of us love them one whole hell of a lot.

We're sorry for making this all about us. Despite our pasts, none of us are that skilled in writing eulogies. In this case I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.  
Maybe we should've written this about his other friends, about his family, but we find ourselves unable to abstain from writing about the man we loved and about how he loved us. We constantly talk about him, thinking that maybe if we believe enough, he'll come back. He's never going to come back. That's something we're just going to deal with."

Lafayette steps down from the podium. They walked steadily to the pew where John and Hercules were waiting.

"You did great," John whispers. When Lafayette hears him, they break down crying. It's not John's fault, it's the other fucking car's fault for crashing into Alex and killing him. John takes their hand, wiping his own tear with his free hand. Hercules takes Lafayette's other hand.

The funeral is over and Lafayette, Hercules, and John ride to the cemetery. So many roses pile up on his casket that they're almost toppling off of the sides. They don't watch him get buried. They leave before they can take the roses away and lower him into the ground where he'll stay forever.

None of them say anything when they finally get home. None of them even turn on the lights. They were supposed to have a dinner with their friends, but none of them could bring themselves to plan anything. They take off their suits, hang them up in their closet, and go to bed.

Their bed still has three people in it, but it has never felt more empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry


	3. Chapter 3

Life wasn't getting easier. Everyday without Alex felt like they were just going through the motions of a routine, but a routine doesn't work the way it should if one part of it is missing. They had no life without Alex.  
  
John was sitting in a McDonald's alone. It was uncommon to ever see him alone since Alex died, one of his significant others usually with him for the support they both needed, but this time he had left his office for his lunch break. He'll probably get a call from Laf, asking where he is. He'll apologize for making them worried, and he'll keep apologizing for as long as he can. Lafayette was anxious about a lot of things now. Especially over phone calls. He was sitting on a stool at the table alone. He wasn't eating anything, but he did have a soda that he wasn't drinking.   
                                                                                   
He's about to get up to leave when a man walks in, holding a woman's hand. John knows that man. He all but falls off of his stool, moving to look at the man getting in line. The man sees him, the sound of his stool making too much noise to be ignored. John, currently forgetting any shred of what is and isn't socially acceptable in terms of personal space, is standing in between the two lines, staring at the man from less than a foot away from him. There's a jagged cut above his eyebrow. His Alexander died, and this man walked away with one pathetic cut.  
  
"Do I know you from somewhere?" The man asks. The woman holding his hand glances between him and John.  
  
"Are you Aaron Burr?"  
  
The man looks startled. "Yes? Have we met before?"  
  
"You, uhm, you-" John stutters. He hates saying it. He always will.  
  
"Are you okay?" John almost laughs at him. No, he's not okay. He's never going to be okay, and it's all his fault. It's that question that gives him the courage to actually look the man in the eye.  
  
"You killed my boyfriend," he responds. His chest aches when he says it. He wants something to happen. He wants this man to feel the same pain John is feeling because of it.  
  
"Sorry, I did what?" Aaron Burr looks taken aback.   
  
"You hit my boyfriend's car with yours, and he died in the hospital three days later because of it. He's dead and it's your fault."  
  
"I think you may have the wrong person," the girl says.  
  
"The only reason I know your name, Aaron Burr, is because it's the name they gave me when me and my two significant others were staring at our boyfriend, who was dying in a hospital bed. Where'd you get that cut on your forehead?" John asks to prove his point.   
  
Burr's eyes widen. "I was in a car accident. I left before I could see who got hit," he says it more to himself than to John, the realization that he actually killed someone coming to him.  
  
"Exactly," John says back. His phone started vibrating in his pocket. He glared once more at Aaron Burr before leaving the fast food restaurant. He doesn't realize that he's crying until he answers.  
  
" _Where are you?_ " Lafayette asks from the other side of the phone. They're panicking, John can tell.  
  
"I-I was in McDonald's. I was in McDonald's and I saw him, Laf."  
  
" _Saw who?_ " Lafayette stops. John knows that they want them to say Alex. For fuck's sake, _he_ wants to say Alex.  
  
"I saw Aaron Burr. I saw him and I talked to him. He didn't even know he killed him. He didn't fucking know." John is sobbing now. The wind is blowing around him but it feels like it's going right through him.  
  
" _Do you want me to come and get you,_ mon cher _?_ " Lafayette asks.  
  
" _Please_."  
  
Lafayette is there in five minutes. They can see Aaron Burr in the window, and they just stare at him. It feels like drowning when the man looks at Lafayette through the car window. Lafayette is floundering. John gets in the car, telling them to just drive away. Lafayette does exactly that, but they only drive around the place before stopping. Taking one hand off of the steering wheel, they wipe their tears and drive away.  
  
"Are you okay, John?" Lafayette asks.  
  
"No, I'm not. I just met the man who killed Alex in a fucking McDonald's. I will never be okay."  
  
"Yes, you will. I'll make sure of it."  
  
"What if we lose you too?"  
  
Lafayette gasps quietly. "You're not going to lose me."  
  
"I'm so scared, Laf." John grabs Lafayette's hand, intertwining their fingers.  
  
"I am too but we'll be okay. Everything will be okay." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to google if leslie odom jr. had eyebrows for this
> 
> it's also SO BAD THAT I WANT TO D I E


End file.
